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It's midnight on the 13th wedding anniversary of Gomez and Morticia. The whole family is up in celebration, and the happy couple are obliged to tell the story of how they first met, how Grandmama and Granny Frump converged to pair up Gomez with - not Morticia but Morticia's older sister Ophelia, with whom sickly Gomez took up an almost immediate and implacable disinterest. For Morticia, on the other hand...