8.0 316 Mail call yields goodies like photos and cookies (Trapper) and a huge knitted sweater (Hawkeye) but Henry gets only canceled checks. Frank's stock portfolio doubled since the war began but when he tells the guys they are less than thrilled. Margaret takes it as a near proposal of marriage. Klinger's father is dying for the 18th time; his file is full of familial death and pregnancy. Frank finds Hawkeye's letter to his father about Pioneer Aviation so Frank asks Radar to cable his brokers to liquidate and buy Pioneer. Radar has a pen pal named Mary Jo Carpenter; he tells Hawkeye he sent Mary Jo Hawkeye's own photo and other info. Trapper gets ripped and packs to go AWOL. Will Radar 'fess up to Mary Jo? Will Trapper stay? How will Frank enjoy not being a millionaire?
Runtime: 25
Starts: Alan Alda, Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, Loretta Swit