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Tonight Barth's guests are Vernon Taylor (Uncle Sam Jr) who will shoot off his mouth on your face and Mrs. Candy Lee Hargrove who will practice birth control until she gets it right and Donny Conn who made a million with his honker. Barth uses his monologue to endorse the upcoming tax levy to fund the purchase of a paper shredder for the Fernwood Police Department. Jerry talks about his commute to work, he takes the bus and sits in the "coach's seat". Vernon (Vern Rowe) gives a speech "Man's Best Friend Speaks Out" concerning what a gun would say. Vernon then plays "Sugar Blues" on the trumpet. Mrs. Candy Lee Hargrove (Geraldine Papel) from the Fascinating Female League talks about the League's recent discussions on birth control. Donny Conn (Donny Conn) joins the show to sing his million selling record "Beep, Beep". Donny joins Barth on the couch to tell the story of writing the song.